How to sound naturally intelligent about Artificial Intelligence

I came to the realisation that I am one of three people on LinkedIn who do not seem to have a deep view on AI. This was unacceptable as AI has invaded our lives to such an extent that my toaster and my microwave have conversations (heated, of course) every morning discussing what’s the best way to burn my food. Not a day passes when you do not hear/read /see AI. Walk into any bookshop, open any newspaper, access any website and you will have to wade through books/articles titled “AI and the coming paradigm”, “AI and the paradigm that just left”, “AI and the paradigm that is running 10 minutes late” etc. In fact, today AI is the aspiration of every modern engineer. All over you look, you hear engineers today talking about AI the way most engineers in 1990s were talking about Sharon Stone in “Basic Instinct”.

I realised that I do not understand AI much. If I really had to understand it, I needed to study vector algebra, differential calculus and Bayesian probability. But since I only wanted a visionary view, luckily LinkedIn taught me that one does not need to understand a topic in any depth. So, I decided to read up on AI (which I didn’t) and have an educated view that was original. However, readers, should they also be clueless about AI, can safely use some of the views below and post it on their feeds as well.

• AI is going to be a game changer

AI is going to be a game changer simply because repeating the same statement makes me sound intelligent. It is in fact going to be so revolutionary that the unit for impact of AI in companies is going to rpm (revolutions per minute). Enough revolutions and you should have your companies going in circles. Things are going to look so different with AI that when managers get a mail which says “URGENT”, the computer will automatically forward it to all team members with the comment “FYI and Action”.

Or if in a team telecon, you ask

“What do you think Bala ?….(silence)…..Bala? …Bala? ….are you there ?”

(uncomfortable silence for 30 seconds)

“Sorry… can you repeat what you said? The line was bad”,
As Bala stumbles clumsily into the conversation with the hurried elegance of a lover escaping from the window upon the husband’s unexpected return, AI will take over and not only slap Bala silly but also kill his Cricinfo session.

(NOTE: Bala is a generic name and has no resemblance to any particular person and especially not with Bala who stays in Simei Street 1, Singapore)

• AI is going to be a <Insert nice number> trillion/ gazillion/ pillion dollar opportunity.

(NOTE: Pillion is the same as 3.14 lions)

AI is going to be a phenomenal business opportunity. A phenomenal business opportunity is like a normal business opportunity but expressed on LinkedIn (where only phenomenal opportunities are permitted to be posted). However, only companies which are prepared for it can benefit from it. This is a big change from the past, when opportunities used to catch companies unawares and stuff them with benefits till their shareholders crawled home on all fours unable to raise their necks due to all the benefits hanging around them. Most of the AI value will be via generating productivity gains. In fact, it is going to generate enough productivity gains and companies are going to be saving so much money that most board members would end up blocking the office corridors while carrying that cash to the bank. (Note: Please widen your corridors before implementing AI).

• How <insert your employer> is leading AI by its unique <nice, cool adjective> approach

This might become a problem. So many management leaders are leading AI so far ahead in the future in their companies that there is no one left to do anything in the present. You can often walk into any company and just see empty desks as all employees are pushing AI so far into the future that even if they were to stop now, you can only see them again in 2042.

But employers are on the leading edge of AI and are helping their employees generate one week training certificates for their profiles, the immediate effect of which is the appearance of a radiating halo of brilliance which makes it impossible to look at the employees directly with the naked eye. Most employees immediately find themselves elevated 2 inches above the ground like that David Blaine guy and are effortlessly able to glide over the writhing bodies of the employees who are still mumbling “Data is the new oil” in their presentations.

• Not adopting AI is soon going to make you irrelevant

This one is proven. As per a recent study released by “Institute of recently released studies”, four out of five companies have a fear of obsolescence caused by AI. They fear being rendered so irrelevant that their house pets will abandon them for their neighbours. Not one day passes when management does not wake up in a cold sweat gasping, “Will I be relevant in the future?”. But when their pulse eases up, they realise they are not relevant even today. Relieved, they go back quietly to bed after checking their unvested options with natural intelligence.

So there, you have 4 visionary posts on AI. Despite what might appear, it was not very difficult to come up with the above views.

(Note: You can just replace “AI” with “Digitalisation”, “ESG”, “Quantum computing”, etc., and puff your chest equally wide. In fact, I have formed the above views using the same approach from the earlier “Blockchain vision statements”)