Is your spiritual journey an excuse for avoiding real life?

Have you ever met a person who is always looking for signs from the universe? Or using “good vibes only” as a shield against the messy and uncomfortable bits of life. They have transcended earthly concerns like apologizing for their mistakes or acknowledging that maybe, just maybe, their essential oils won’t cure cancer.

In today’s era of commercialized spirituality, it is common to meet people who think they are more “spiritually advanced” than others. Many of these individuals engage in what is known as spiritual bypassing. Coined by psychologist John Welwood, it refers to the use of spiritual ideas and practices to avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds or basic human responsibilities.

After attending a few retreats and reading philosophical texts like Vedanta, they begin to believe they have attained a higher level of spirituality. Narcissists, in particular, often exploit pseudo-spirituality to gaslight others. By positioning themselves as spiritually superior, they deflect genuine criticism and avoid accountability for their actions, leaving others confused or doubting their own experiences.

Spirituality is a vital aspect of human life. It can take many forms, such as meditation, yoga, devotion or reading philosophical texts, but it is a lifelong exploration. None of these practices offer shortcuts to enlightenment. True spiritual growth demands dedication, introspection and effort.

Rather than facing external difficulties or internal struggles head-on, spiritual bypassers cloak their avoidance in spiritual rhetoric, using it as a shield to escape accountability and personal growth. They convince themselves they have achieved spiritual progress, bypassing the hard work needed for genuine growth.

For instance, rather than addressing general health concerns by maintaining a proper diet and exercising, they may focus solely on “aligning their chakras.” Social media often fuels this culture by promoting instant solutions to happiness, making it seem like genuine spiritual growth can happen without real effort.

When approached with sincerity and discipline, meditation fosters self-awareness, yoga strengthens the mind-body connection and philosophical studies provide deep insights into life’s mysteries. These practices can guide personal transformation when used for self-exploration rather than as shortcuts to enlightenment.

There is a well-known story about Swami Vivekananda that highlights the importance of building a strong foundation before seeking spiritual wisdom. When a man approached him seeking spiritual knowledge, he noticed the man appeared physically weak and advised him to play football first. He said, “First of all, our young men must be strong. Religion will come afterwards. Be strong, my young friends; that is my advice to you. You will be nearer to Heaven through football than through the study of the Gita.”

Swami Vivekananda’s lesson reinforces the idea that spirituality and responsibility go hand in hand. His words remind us that true spiritual growth does not mean detaching from reality but engaging with it fully, strengthening both the mind and body to face life’s challenges head-on. There are no shortcuts to spirituality. While ‘miracles’ do happen, they are often preceded by immense effort and dedication. Waiting for miracles without making any effort is mere wishful thinking.

According to author Wendy Doniger, an enlightened ascetic and someone deeply immersed in worldly pleasures may appear very different, but they share the same energy and vitality. The key difference is that the ascetic has mastered their urges. True spirituality is not about being dull, lazy or withdrawn. It is about seeking the truth with honesty and vigour. Being dishonest with oneself is the greatest obstacle to spiritual growth.

Life can be incredibly tough and painful, and spirituality does provide relief. Practices like meditation, chanting and yoga can bring hope during moments of deep suffering. However, as one begins to recover from suffering, it is important to avoid falling into the trap of spiritual bypassing. Instead of using spirituality to explain away trauma or pain, one must work through the pain to integrate those experiences honestly. This process may be slow and challenging, but it is essential for genuine self-connection.

It is crucial to be cautious when receiving advice from spiritual bypassers. Rather than addressing mental health issues with the guidance of qualified professionals, they may offer superficial advice such as “manifest a happy life” or “keep your heart open.”
Many spiritual bypassers, particularly those who are intellectually sharp, craft intricate narratives to rationalize their avoidance, making their spiritual detachment appear as deep wisdom rather than evasion. Therefore, smarter people are more prone to fall into the trap of spiritual bypassing.

So, next time you encounter someone who is just a little too blissed out, remember: beneath the exterior of serenity, there might just be a regular human being trying to figure things out, just like the rest of us. And if they try to give you a secret recipe of enlightenment? Politely decline. Instead, remember what father of Po from Kung Fu Panda said, “There is no secret ingredient.”