Apr 26, 2025
But before you lose your cool, know this: it's normal! Kids are still learning how to respond, focus, and cooperate. Instead of yelling or feeling defeated, there are simple strategies that work wonders.
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Before giving instructions, connect with your child emotionally. A gentle touch on the shoulder, calling their name softly, or even a quick hug can open up their attention and cooperation.
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Instead of shouting from across the room, crouch down and make eye contact. Kids respond much better when you’re physically at their level—it feels more personal and less like a distant command.
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If your tone is angry or rushed, kids might shut down. Speak slowly, clearly, and warmly. A calm voice grabs attention better than loudness and makes it easier for your child to actually process what you’re saying.
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Long, complicated sentences lose kids fast. Break down what you want into short, clear steps. Instead of saying "Clean your room!" try "Put your toys in the basket" or "Place your books on the shelf."
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Kids crave a sense of control. Instead of barking orders, offer two choices that you’re okay with. Like, "Would you like to brush your teeth first or put on pajamas first?" It encourages cooperation without power struggles.
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Kids need to know where the limits are—and that those limits are solid. Be clear about what behavior is acceptable and stick to the boundaries you set, even if they push against them a little.
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Catch them being good! Praise even small efforts to listen. A simple "I love how you listened right away!" boosts their confidence and makes them more likely to listen next time too.
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Kids don't always respond instantly—they might need a few seconds to process what you said. After giving an instruction, pause for a bit before repeating yourself. Patience can sometimes be magic.
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Sometimes "not listening" isn’t about defiance—it’s about unmet needs. Are they hungry? Tired? Overwhelmed? Stepping back and checking what else might be going on can change your whole approach in the moment.
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