EA Hanks reflects on father Tom Hanks' response to her memoir about her troubled childhood with her mother

EA Hanks revealed that her father, actor Tom Hanks, and her brother, Colin Hanks, were among the first to read her emotional new memoir, The Ten: A Memoir of Family and the Open Road, which reflects on her childhood with her late mother.
Tom Hanks' Approval
She shared that her father told her that the memoir perfectly captured the complex emotions of loving and fearing her mother. Once she knew she had portrayed her mother accurately, everything else in the book came together.
The Book's Focus: A Journey to Understand Her Mother
The book recounts EA Hanks' six-month trip along Interstate 10, from California to Florida, as she tried to understand her late mother, Susan Dillingham, who passed away in 2002. It also explores her own challenging childhood during that journey.
"I'm just another girl trying to make sense of her dead, crazy mother," Hanks said.
Understanding Addiction and Mental Illness
Hanks shared that while she grew up with an understanding of addiction, as her mother hosted 12-step programs at their home, she lacked the language to understand mental illness.
Hanks explained that while she had an understanding of addiction from a young age, as her mother hosted 12-step programs and had sponsees stay with them, she lacked the vocabulary to comprehend mental health issues. She mentioned that much of the book is her effort to create and share that language.
Describing Her Mother's Struggles
In the book, the author describes her mother's relationship with reality as "fluid," explaining that the truth was often distorted by her mental illness.
The Impact of Abuse in Her Childhood
Hanks shared details of both emotional and physical abuse in her childhood home. She explained that in California during the late 1980s, family law usually required proof of physical abuse before a child could be taken out of such a situation.
Hanks explained that family law in California in the late '80s didn't provide enough support for situations like hers. At that time, physical abuse needed to be documented for a child to be removed from a home. She said it was only after reaching that point that she moved to Los Angeles.
Protecting Her Mother Despite a Complicated Relationship
Despite their complicated relationship, Hanks expressed that she remained protective of her mother. In writing the memoir, she included her mother’s poetry as a way to reconnect with her. Hanks described her mother as someone who felt like a talented artist sidelined too soon, due to her father’s overwhelming fame. She saw incorporating her mother’s work into the book as a way to honor her as an artist and continue their conversation, acknowledging how losing a parent often turns a two-way conversation into a one-way one.
When reflecting on the truth she has come to understand, Hanks shared that her mother had both good and bad days. She felt fortunate to have experienced the good days and acknowledged how the difficult ones shaped her. While her care and protection for her younger self didn’t erase their past struggles, she now finds more room for acceptance of both her mother’s flaws and her own as she grows older.
Themes of Place and Identity in the Memoir
The memoir also delves into themes of place and identity. As a journalist, Hanks learned that while you can't begin interviews by asking about someone's mother, you can start with, "Tell me where you're from." She found that talking about one's hometown often opens the door to deeper conversations. Reflecting on her own journey, she realized that her identity is deeply shaped by where she comes from.