Snore wars: Why couples are ditching the bed, not the love!

Neighbourhood gossip queen Sharma Aunty is always on top of the latest trends. These days, she’s deeply concerned about sleep divorce — as if it’s the biggest crisis after global warming. She says in a hushed tone: “Well, lucky for me, I don’t need an actual divorce…just a sleep one will do. You see, Uncle Ji’s snoring is so loud, it could wake up the entire neighbourhood. No wonder my sleep is completely ruined!”

Oh, and a fun fact about Sharma Aunty — she’s a self-proclaimed fitness freak. Hits the gym religiously, all in the noble pursuit of shedding her hard-earned 120 kgs. Not sure about the weight loss, but her dedication? Unshakable. Same goes for her sleep. She takes it just as seriously, always mindful of sleep hygiene and disorders.

Jokes aside, the buzz around sleep divorce isn’t just Sharma Aunty’s latest obsession — it’s a growing reality. As awareness about the importance of quality sleep rises, a global study has uncovered a silent sleep crisis. Turns out, a significant number of Indian couples are ditching the idea of sharing a bed — not out of love lost, but for the love of uninterrupted sleep.

In fact, when I first stumbled upon the internet’s latest buzzword — sleep divorce, I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. A term that makes it sound like couples are parting ways when all they are really doing is taking back their sleep? But the more I thought about it, the more it started to click.

A friend, an IT professional who prefers to stay unnamed, says, “At first, I wasn’t sure about it. It sounded strange. But when I saw other couples raving about it, I started to get curious. I decided to give it a shot, and honestly, I feel even more connected to my partner now.”

He went on, “Good sleep isn’t just about resting. It affects everything — your mood, energy, and how you show up for the people you love. If a well-rested parent can be more patient with their child, doesn’t it make sense that the same applies to a partner?”

And that’s exactly what it is — no drama, no hard feelings…just the bold idea that a good night’s sleep might actually be the secret to a happier relationship.

Says Dr Jyotsana Singh, Counselling Psychologist, Max Healthcare, “Many couples now opt for ‘sleep divorce’ due to snoring, mismatched sleep schedules, or restlessness — factors that can disrupt deep sleep. Poor sleep often leads to stress, irritability, and increased conflicts, whereas sleeping separately can enhance rest, patience, and overall relationship quality. Rather than signalling trouble, it’s a deliberate choice to prioritize well-being and strengthen the partnership.”

It’s more than just an opinion; data backs it up. According to ResMed’s 2025 Global Sleep Survey, India leads the way in sleep divorce, with 78% of couples choosing separate sleeping arrangements. China follows at 67%, and South Korea isn’t far behind at 65%. The study, which surveyed over 30,000 individuals across 13 countries, makes one thing clear — sleep struggles aren’t just personal, they are a global reality. Even in the UK and US, couples seem to be divided — half still share a bed, while the other half prefers separate spaces for a better night’s sleep.

But before you are too quick to judge, sleeping apart isn’t necessarily a sign of trouble in paradise. For many, it’s a survival strategy — a way to reclaim restful nights and, ironically, keep the relationship healthier. The biggest culprits? Snoring, loud breathing, or gasping for air (32%), a partner’s midnight tossing and turning (12%), mismatched sleep schedules (10%), and that all-too-familiar glow of screens in bed (8%). Not surprisingly, older generations are more likely to sleep separately, having endured decades of night-time disturbances, before sleep divorce became an acceptable escape route.

Cautions Dr Jyotsana Singh, “However, sleep divorce should be considered solely for improving sleep quality, not as a way to avoid interpersonal issues.”

So, sharing a bed has long been seen as the ultimate sign of intimacy. But more and more couples are now discovering that quality sleep, and not just physical closeness, might be the real secret to a happy relationship. Maybe it’s time to rethink what ‘sleeping together’ really means. After all, it’s not the shared blanket that defines love — it’s how fresh you feel in the morning, rested and happy. As Sharma Aunty wisely puts it, “Romance is fine, beta, but after a full night of snoring? Even Mughal-e-Azam’s Salim and Anarkali would have needed separate bedrooms!”

At the end of the day, love isn’t about where you sleep…it’s about how you wake up to each other.